Sunday, February 6, 2011

Handwriting on the Wall

But not just any wall. The bathroom wall.
There are so many things that are so wrong on so many levels with this.
Writing on bathroom walls.
Are people crazy? Is that any way to spread your inspirational sayings, or jokes, or messages? To talk to people while they are using the bathroom?
Sure, it's one place that everyone is at some point or another, and so, in a way, it's almost ingenious. If it's in the bathroom, then of course someone is going to see it! Unless that bathroom is one of the ones filled with grime and rust and doesn't have toilet paper and no one would be stupid enough to use it, for fear that a sewer monster will emanate from the toilet bowl and pull you into the dreadful, thick muck. But those bathrooms are a whole different story.
And in reality, even if people will see it there, is the bathroom the place for that kind of thing?

Do you honestly want to spread your political message in the bathroom?

Because that makes it extremely immature, and makes you seem like a moron, and to be honest, the fact that I read it on a bathroom wall probably isn't going to sway my vote any time soon.

I also do not need to read your benevolent warnings whilst on the toilet, but thanks anyway.
And you know this how?
Also, although you may think it's a good idea, I simply don't want to have a deep and emotional discussion about forms of art when I visit the loo, either.

I think that it's a load of crap.
However, despite the randomness and strangeness of the things that you may read on the door of your stall, there are more disturbing aspects yet.
For instance, why do you have a pen with you in the bathroom? Were you earnestly planning to vandalize bathroom stalls when you went in there? Horrible, horrible person you are! 
And then there are the bathroom wall messages which get replies. Replies? Someone else also went in there with a sharpie and evil intentions? Are you serious?
And then there are the rhymes! The crazy, strange rhymes! Who has any clue what you're going to read? There are also the sad, sad people who are too stupid to think of something funny, but too annoying to just leave it alone, and lack far too much in self discipline to refrain from scribbling curses all over the walls. 
There is, on occasion, the bathroom genius who comes along and makes you want to burst into laughter:


Whoever started the "push button, receive bacon" idea, I salute you. You are brilliant. But you're also a bathroom wall writer, so I detest you, too.