Untold History

Why is the world such an ignorant place? Why must it be so rampant, this disease, this plague, this ignorance? Is information too hard to come across? Are people too unwilling to be educated? It's a saddening moment indeed, when we discover that vital aspects of history are missing. I couldn't believe my eyes, earlier today. I was editing my Blogger profile, when I decided to have it ask me a random question. I saved, as it told me to, and I got my question, all right. It was devastating, shocking, really, to read what it asked me:
"Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?"
My mouth dropped in horror. What?! Could it have been serious? Was it really so... uninformed?
Does no one know the Secret And Untold History That No One Has Ever Been Made Aware Of Before?
That's abbreviated as SAUHTNOHEBMAOB, in case you must know.
So I decided to edify the machine, to educate it for the sake of shedding a bit of light in the dark, unknowing reaches of its mind.

"No, no, no, no. You've got it backwards, buddy. Spoons are evolved from forks. You see, it all started out with forks, a medieval weapon of mass destruction. They were a dangerous scourge, attacking all who dared cross their paths, those forks. Pelting people with their metal prongs of doom, leaving faces covered in red welts. Children cried and cowered at the site of these dreadful forks. None too many people realize that this is the reason that humans in medieval times ate with their hands  - who was stupid enough to put a fork in their mouth?After hundreds of years beneath the Forkish Reign of Tyranny and Other Really Bad Stuff, however, the scientists of that time were working, in spite of the oppression brought about by their ghoulish metal masters, to create a secret weapon. After an excruciatingly long time (these fellows weren't all that bright, you see) they created it, this Magnificent Saviour of Glory and Other Really Good Stuff, and it became known as Soup. Or Soup the Unconquerable, as some called it. The forks were helpless in the face of Soup the Unconquerable. It was un-pick-up-able, un-stab-able, un-defeat-able! The forks, however, were quick to change (and much smarter than the pathetic human scientists. Honestly? Their greatest achievement was soup? Not that I don't love soup or anything, but that's a bit weak.) Then they evolved into spoons and brought the world to its knees and an Age of Supreme Darkness and Other Really Scary Stuff set in. The forks and spoons alike now walk among us, disguised as ordinary cutlery. But don't be fooled! Every last one of them is a highly trained operative, ready to spring into anti-human action at a moment's notice! If you should ever come to trust or befriend one such thing, I must tell you: be wary. Never turn your back, never leave a single moment of weakness readily visible. Without hesitation, it will take advantage of you."

So I clicked "Save Profile," in complete confidence that the computer would be glad to have the information.
Do you know what it did? It rejected my history! It spat the whole thing back at me, and it said that I needed to keep it under four hundred characters!
I can understand that it may be a bit tedious for a computer, and I could've shortened it. Less information would be transferred, of course, but that's just the price that the thing must pay for its unwillingness towards long blocks of text. But really, four hundred? That's far too short! The SAUHTNOHEBMAOB could fill entire history books, and it wanted only 400 characters?! No wonder it's unknown to so many people! If the machines are out to keep us ignorant, then what can we do? If our source of information is clueless, where do we proceed from? We have no options, if they insist upon ignorance! We must accept!
It's truly a sad, sad day for me.