Emoticons

So everyone knows what emoticons are, right? But are they really necessary? Look, they're there so that they can simulate facial expressions on the internet, which would be totally and utterly facial expressionless without them.

But again, are they really necessary?

The internet is a written world. Made out of words. Partially, that's what makes it so cool. It's like a great big novel, written by billions of different authors, which you will never have a chance to read in it's entirety. You can, however, read tiny corners of it, like this one, to get an idea of what other people, who are authors of the internet, just like you, are thinking.
But in a written world, do we need faces? The internet gives everyone a chance to be eloquent, to an extent. Out here, you can think over every single word that you have ever had to say before you say it. Really, how many times have you said something mean, or embarrassing, or just plain dumb in speech? Out here, you can use incredibly long, adjective filled, descriptive, to the point, precise sentences- like this one - and it won't become very tedious. So, if facial expressions make up spoken interactions, we don't need them here, in the Written World, do we? We can be descriptive and somewhat eloquent here. We can convey happy emotions without having to smile, or depressed ones without having to frown.
So, break free of the bonds of verbal communication and facial expressions! Try something new!
Down with the emoticons! Because:
This. Is. The Interneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!